Waiting......

So, we are still TTC, and this has been quite the unexpected journey for me and us. I haven't posted in over a year on this really due to time and forgetfulness. But I'm going to TRY to be more faithful to blogging....key word being 'try'.

April was our 5th month on clomid, first dose at 100mg. We barely got one good mature follicle, but even with that, the ultrasound after ovulation wasn't too promising. Based on what the u/s tech saw, there was a 50% chance the egg even made it out of the follicle. (Sorry if this is TMI). So, we waited. I was excited at the possibilities, but mainly because I now knew things I didn't before. Hoping, praying for good results and outcome of being pregnant...again...finally. But, not only was I not pregnant, my cycle was 1-2 days LATER than it has been. I HATE waiting! The one thing I'm the worst at is waiting. I know many don't like it really, some are just more patient than others. I'm a gal with little patience, though through this 1.5 year journey, I'm sure the Lord is teaching me a little something about patience and waiting. The positive about this past month's cycle is seeing that even 100mg isn't enough and the u/s tech is recommending going straight to the highest dose to push to get as many "mature follicles" as possible. So, there are good things that have happened, even if pregnancy wasn't one of them just yet.

So last night as I'm getting ready for bed, I had this little conversation with the Lord,
"OK, I don't like this, I don't know why you added another entire day to wait right now, but I've/we've been through a lot this year in this baby journey, and I've been waiting over 1.5 years and if this is what I have to go through to get another blessing...I'll do it. I don't like it, but I'll do it. I've been waiting this long, I'll keep waiting. He/she will be worth it, just like Ezra was."

No one ever expects to be on this sit and wait for a baby journey, but it happens...a lot! God HAS been faithful and He HAS been good, so our journey continues on...and we'll just keep doing what we do and see what the Lord does.

Tough Day

Today is a tough day. My uncle Norman suffered a heart attack last Thursday March 3rd, 2011. He was put in a medically induced coma, and paralytic. Last weekend the sedation and paralytic were stopped, but my uncle never woke up. Due to the heart attack, and lack of oxygen to the heart and brain; my uncle suffered significant brain damage.

We have been at the hospital, camped out and created what we referred to as "the compound" in the waiting room. We literally took over. We've eaten numerous amounts of pizza this week, many crock pot meals and LOTS of snacks thanks to many friends and family. I think I've gained about 5 lbs during this past week....that's not cool.

With all the tests, 3 EEG's that kept getting progressively worse; my aunt Lori had to make the hardest decision of her life, and decided to cease any and all medical attention and intervention. This will be taking place this afternoon at some point. Norman will be so missed. He leaves behind a wife, Lori, daughter Adrianna, and son Dylan. He is/was 49 years young.

Today is a tough day.