So....a little over a week ago we began putting Ezra in his own bed, own room, learning to sleep on his own. It's not going well. I know a thousand mama's, daddy's and kiddo's have gone through this, but I have to be honest, I didn't think we'd be one of 'em. 21 months ago there was no way could I let MY child just cry it out, he'd never forgive me, yada, yada, yada.
Fast forward to today and I find myself in the very position I said I'd never be in. Many tears have been/are being shed between Ezra and myself. Why must this be so difficult?
My fears were/are:
*He'll remember this and become distant emotionally from me and generally speaking.
*He'll never forgive me
*He won't actually go to sleep and cry endlessly
My best friend Julie sent me an amazing facebook message that really helped me amidst night #5's trials. She said "...rest assured my friend, you are not breaking his spirit, or communicating that you won't be there for him. You are there for him all day, he is learning the discipline of bed time...no damage done. He will learn, but I know that doesn't decrease the pain you feel going through this!"
How wise she was in this. Those words have given me peace off and on since then. But today...OH today...it was bad. Let's just say there was crying off/on for 3 hours, no nap and a trashed room. I am emotionally spent! So much so that I'm going to have to finish this at a later time. I am finding it hard to concentrate, and really just need some sleep. Good Night.
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